The road begins
Adopting a child in Ukraine was our best decision. Like all the families we have
tried many times to become parents, to have our biological kids but nothing helped.
God decided that we have to follow the other way to become parents. And we decided
to adopt!
Our first appointment was in October 2007. And nobody knew at that time that our
future son would be born one month later after it. And that the next year and 5
months we will be looking for each other. We started to look for info about adoption
and between all of the countries Ukraine was mentioned.
We were said that in Ukraine the adoptions go faster than in other countries. But
nobody told us that having bad helpers during your process of adoption can make
it hard and many people had problems.
We decided to pick up Ukraine for adoption and went blind with the help of internet,
to do everything by ourselves. Oh, my, what a mess has started: dozens of stamps,
signatures, several notaries, certifications…hundreds of questions and no answers…
Make the file
All the documents are valid only 6 months and that makes the process of adoption
hard, because if you are not an expert you cannot control the process and must redo
the documents all the time. At the Department of Adoption they change rules and
it is hard to follow all the new rules without knowing them and laws.
Choosing the facilitator
Once you know who he is, and if you have references of other parents, everything
is much easier, but it wasn't in our case. We did not know anyone and were looking
for info in on different forums in the internet. Everything scared us. So as soon
as you get to the country where you adopt, all the work must do the facilitator
and you can relax. It was good because there are many places where you are supposed
to do something, sign something, write something.
Registration
Different forums about adoption in Ukraine don’t help you to feel calm, because
you won’t hear many successful stories there. But you definitely will read about
problems. So I decided to look for the useful information for myself.
We found one facilitator, prepared all documents, checked all of them, sent to Kiev
and finally got invitation to come to Kiev.
Flight
Our Facilitator, Georgy, picked us up in Kiev, at the airport. He took us to the
apartment and then to the huge mall on the Independence Square. There hundreds of
shops, little and big restaurants, all kinds of clothes and all kinds of food and
entertainments. You can buy a cheap cell phone and make cheap phone calls.
Kiev’s Opera
Museum of World War II of Kiev
First appointment
At the first appointment they invited us in without our facilitator. People in Ukraine
are very sweet. At the Department of Adoption children are on the first place and
not the families, and if you don’t have the person with you who has good relations
and who knows all the laws and rules you will be showed kids with problems. It was
a little disappointed.
They showed us 5 files and between all these kids we saw a girl who looked and seemed
healthy. And we decided to visit her.
Trip to Kharkov
After getting permission to visit the girl we went to Kharkov. We took an overnight
train. At first you go and meet the social worker and then together wit the prosecutor
and social worker you go to the orphanage.
When we came to the orphanage, the Director told us that the girl could not hear.
When she came in we saw a redhead one year and a half years old girl. Tiny and beautiful.
We could not say at the beginning how she hears. After some time she went to eat
and something told me that this girl was not for me.
Our facilitator told us to make a test for her and check her ears. We did it. The
girl could not hear, but the doctor told us with the surgery she would be able to
hear. Our facilitator continued asking questions and told us: "you are not taking
her" without further explanation. Later he explained that the electroencephalograph
was not normal and that we weren't going to take a sick child with us.
We trusted in him
The next day we went to the notary for the second appointment.
We had to get second appointment and had to wait for it around 12 days. They advised
us to wait so new files with kids could come. We did so and spent great time while
waiting. We met other adoptive couples in Kiev, with one family we became really
close. They will be our friends forever. Together we visited the War Museum, Museum
of Russian and Western Art, the market on Andriivska Street., Av. Krishatick, etc.
I would like to say that in Kiev you can eat for a good price and people are very
nice and polite.
Second appointment
Here is the story. At this time we saw Nikolas. We went to the Department of Adoption
with Georgy and again saw the same system. They started with files with sick children,
among these files there were files with kids that have little problems. We looked
at one picture and saw you Nickolas. Dady and mama liked you a lot. Georgy was asking
many questions about you and we decided that you would be our son and would love
to meet you.
Trip to Zaporizhya
We got the documents at the department of adoption on the next day and took a train
to Zaporizhya. All the night long I was praying for you to be healthy and my heart
told me you would be our child. In the morning we picked up the Inspector and went
to the orphanage.
We meet Nicholas
We had an interview with the Director and then had meeting with the doctor of the
orphanage and explained us the details of medical records for Nicholas. Our boy
had little problems: bronchitis and flat feet, that was really nothing.
Then we went to meet you. It is hard to explain my emotions on the paper. Hard to
say everything what I was feeling. It was the most important day of my life. They
came with you and I thought: "this little one is too nice for me”. For the last
six years of efforts and treatments, fights for being parents, you were a lot better
than I have ever dreamed. Starting from this moment everything was the best thing
that has ever happened to us.
Orphanage Sonechko in Zaporizhya
We started to visit our boy from three to six every day. When the weather was nice,
we had a walk in the garden. We started show you flowers, cat, trees. You were touching
leaves on the trees and were listening to the wind. We were the happiest in the
world. You put the happiness in our life.
Court Day
The court went very well. The judge asked us questions about our city, our life,
jobs and how we would take care about our child. After the court session we were
named as father and mother of Nicholas. The court was over and daily routine started
again. In 10 days we got the court decree, made Nichola’s birth certificate and
new passport. And when all was ready and done, we picked up our boy!
Picking up Nicholas and judgment
We picked up our Nicholas. And we officially became his mom and dad. It was the
best feeling.
And even now it is the best feeling to see him in the house, to see him sleeping
in bed, to hug him and give him food, to see him happy and exciting. We are very
happy.
Our facilitator helped us a lot.
Happy days!
The days in Zaporizhy with our Nicholas at the apartment were the happiest and exhausting
at the same time))) because he was waking up at 5 in the morning (every day), like
the alarm clock. But we were so excited to see him sleepy in the morning and give
him hugs and look at him. He was so cute.
Trip to Kiev
We returned to Kiev 2 days before our trip back home. We got medical record for
our son and got visa. Everybody was very nice at the embassy.
Flight
Our flight back home was nice. We came to Ukraine being 2 and came back home being
3. Now we pray God for all of us to be healthy. We are very happy family!
First days at home!
Home sweet home. The first time was not easy. Everything was new for a little baby
and he had a lot to learn.
The learning abilities of children are incredible, they learn so fast.
Nicholas loves us most of all and we love him most of all.
Many people were coming to our house to look at him and it was hard for Nicholas
to get used for that. Now he knows who is relative and who is just our friend. Everybody
loves our son.
For all the families I have a good advice. Do not be worried about the language.
Kids learn so fast. Language is not a problem at all.
When we met him he was not walking, because he didn’t go out and spent the day in
a big playroom. He did not pick up objects with the hands. Now I smile all the time
when I remember our first days and our walks. How we were touching trees together,
how we were looking at the flowers, cats, dogs, everything was new for him. Only
3 months later he walks by himself, goes from room to room, runs, plays with puzzles
and toys. He opens doors and everything what all kids do in his age.
It is obviously that Nicholas is a happy child and we even think we spoil him a
little LOL. But it is so hard not to spoil him. He is our best gift. Nicholas loves
to give us hugs and kisses.
Introduction
More or less three months ago that Nicholas has come to our House and it seems a
lifetime. it seems a lot of time and a world. Magically, we have incorporated a
new way of life and now we are a group of three, for everything and hopefully will
remain so until that a beautiful and smart chick steals him from our life in his
twenties. Meanwhile we enjoy and work this wonderful adventure of being parents
and as I repeat many times until the surfeit, I knew that parenting was nice, that’s
why we fought so much, but living it exceeds all expectations.
It is difficult to explain to those who do not want it, the good thing about parenting.
I speak of the early waking up at six in the morning, of the amount of clothing
in the ironing board, lack of free time, the ability to capture attention and energy
proper of a child and finally I understand that, as my brother says -don’t worry!,
if I seek sensations I have a beer - but only a sensation can summarize it. A laugh,
a glance, feeling how it all strengthens, grows, how he sings, knowing that our
house is going to be his home, all that is priceless and although I sleep late since
almost the day that they gave him to us, and sometimes I would go three days to
the Caribbean, I already can’t spend a night quiet without knowing that he is happy
and well. These are the secrets of love and a adoption is a wonderful love story.
Arrival to Spain
The day of the flight we left Kiev at six in the morning and arrived at Santiago,
where we were going to be picked up at 10 in the evening. Nicholas arrived happy
and went into the arms of everyone and kissed all and our families were delighted
with how sociable the little one was.
The following days were chaos, visits here and there. The welcoming was so good,
that it was even a little overwhelming. The contrast with this rich and consumerist
world is like a shock after two months and a week our little one has more things
and clothes than all the friends of his department. We remember much of the children
there.
I have to say that the child has completely different hours to ours and that his
time to get up was 4 Spanish time and until that changed we were all exhausted.
The way of doing this was to be very strict with the hours and go slowly gaining
time, i.e., started lying at 8 in the evening for 15 days to 15 days we won half
an hour and so until when we realized we had a schedule of European child and I
slept the siesta as do the neighbors.
The learning capacity of children is incredible. The head of Nicholas is continually
incorporating new data. The work consisted of:
Removing the small anxiety of food that he brought. During one month more or less
he walked always with a cookie in his hand and little by little this obsession with
food was going away , until the point where we currently have to chase him to end
the snack and he knows that he can choose and there are flavors and there is always
food at the right time.
That he trusts us, we knew him with character and increasingly he feels safer and
quieter. He had a small problem because he had a small fever and we were isolated
for 3 days due to the obsession with the bird flu, until we got the results. But
he is very cheerful child who sings with his average tongue, who dances and communicates
in his own way his desires, he is very funny when explaining that he is hungry or
wants to sleep with signs and he gets angry if it is not granted.
The adaptation was very good from the beginning, but during the first month and
especially because so many new people were watching him, he did not want to go away
from us. Now he already can tell the difference of who is family, who is a friend
and who is newly known and the kisses are no longer offered. Each time he has more
clear that we are going to take care of him and that we love him to much.
Medical check-ups. Fortunately except a few unimportant things everything was well,
but the truth is that until they gave us the first results of the analysis, we were
not quiet. We have done reviews of everything and we went to 4 specialists luckily
nothing of importance and Nicholas is a healthy little boy, although it has been
tiresome to visit so many doctors.
The language. This is our uphill, Nicholas is magically moving throughout it. Far
are already after three months his problems of psychomotor skills. When we met him
he was not walking, because he didn’t go out and spent the day in a big playpen,
he did not pick objects with the hands, the pieces of a childish game fell and I
get excited every time I remember that he had not seen a tree, or a dog. Our child
3 months later goes up and down from the sofa, runs, makes puzzles fitting large
chips, plays with toys with buttons, opens drawers, doors, you may even find him
one day on the table. He explores and plays with everything put you in front of
him, has learned to blow, to give kisses, ultimately thousands of things but the
language goes slowly. He says 5 words, actually he said many more spontaneously
and by repetition, but to read regularly only about 5 or 6. No we are concerned
too because the phonemes are different from Ukrainian and he is not even 2 years
old.
Affectionately Nicholas is a happy child and I even believe that we are trying too
much and I know this is making him capricious, he has given us the best things you
can have in life, which is the happiness of his hug or his laughter when you kiss
his belly and his kisses. I only ask God health for him and that we see him aging.