Adoption of Nicholas

The road begins

Adopting a child in Ukraine was our best decision. Like all the families we have tried many times to become parents, to have our biological kids but nothing helped. God decided that we have to follow the other way to become parents. And we decided to adopt!

Our first appointment was in October 2007. And nobody knew at that time that our future son would be born one month later after it. And that the next year and 5 months we will be looking for each other. We started to look for info about adoption and between all of the countries Ukraine was mentioned.

We were said that in Ukraine the adoptions go faster than in other countries. But nobody told us that having bad helpers during your process of adoption can make it hard and many people had problems.

We decided to pick up Ukraine for adoption and went blind with the help of internet, to do everything by ourselves. Oh, my, what a mess has started: dozens of stamps, signatures, several notaries, certifications…hundreds of questions and no answers…

Make the file

All the documents are valid only 6 months and that makes the process of adoption hard, because if you are not an expert you cannot control the process and must redo the documents all the time. At the Department of Adoption they change rules and it is hard to follow all the new rules without knowing them and laws.

Choosing the facilitator

Once you know who he is, and if you have references of other parents, everything is much easier, but it wasn't in our case. We did not know anyone and were looking for info in on different forums in the internet. Everything scared us. So as soon as you get to the country where you adopt, all the work must do the facilitator and you can relax. It was good because there are many places where you are supposed to do something, sign something, write something.

Registration

Different forums about adoption in Ukraine don’t help you to feel calm, because you won’t hear many successful stories there. But you definitely will read about problems. So I decided to look for the useful information for myself.

We found one facilitator, prepared all documents, checked all of them, sent to Kiev and finally got invitation to come to Kiev.

Flight

Our Facilitator, Georgy, picked us up in Kiev, at the airport. He took us to the apartment and then to the huge mall on the Independence Square. There hundreds of shops, little and big restaurants, all kinds of clothes and all kinds of food and entertainments. You can buy a cheap cell phone and make cheap phone calls.



Kiev’s Opera



Museum of World War II of Kiev

First appointment

At the first appointment they invited us in without our facilitator. People in Ukraine are very sweet. At the Department of Adoption children are on the first place and not the families, and if you don’t have the person with you who has good relations and who knows all the laws and rules you will be showed kids with problems. It was a little disappointed.

They showed us 5 files and between all these kids we saw a girl who looked and seemed healthy. And we decided to visit her.

Trip to Kharkov

After getting permission to visit the girl we went to Kharkov. We took an overnight train. At first you go and meet the social worker and then together wit the prosecutor and social worker you go to the orphanage.

When we came to the orphanage, the Director told us that the girl could not hear.

When she came in we saw a redhead one year and a half years old girl. Tiny and beautiful. We could not say at the beginning how she hears. After some time she went to eat and something told me that this girl was not for me.

Our facilitator told us to make a test for her and check her ears. We did it. The girl could not hear, but the doctor told us with the surgery she would be able to hear. Our facilitator continued asking questions and told us: "you are not taking her" without further explanation. Later he explained that the electroencephalograph was not normal and that we weren't going to take a sick child with us.

We trusted in him

The next day we went to the notary for the second appointment.

We had to get second appointment and had to wait for it around 12 days. They advised us to wait so new files with kids could come. We did so and spent great time while waiting. We met other adoptive couples in Kiev, with one family we became really close. They will be our friends forever. Together we visited the War Museum, Museum of Russian and Western Art, the market on Andriivska Street., Av. Krishatick, etc.

I would like to say that in Kiev you can eat for a good price and people are very nice and polite.

Second appointment

Here is the story. At this time we saw Nikolas. We went to the Department of Adoption with Georgy and again saw the same system. They started with files with sick children, among these files there were files with kids that have little problems. We looked at one picture and saw you Nickolas. Dady and mama liked you a lot. Georgy was asking many questions about you and we decided that you would be our son and would love to meet you.

Trip to Zaporizhya

We got the documents at the department of adoption on the next day and took a train to Zaporizhya. All the night long I was praying for you to be healthy and my heart told me you would be our child. In the morning we picked up the Inspector and went to the orphanage.

We meet Nicholas

We had an interview with the Director and then had meeting with the doctor of the orphanage and explained us the details of medical records for Nicholas. Our boy had little problems: bronchitis and flat feet, that was really nothing.

Then we went to meet you. It is hard to explain my emotions on the paper. Hard to say everything what I was feeling. It was the most important day of my life. They came with you and I thought: "this little one is too nice for me”. For the last six years of efforts and treatments, fights for being parents, you were a lot better than I have ever dreamed. Starting from this moment everything was the best thing that has ever happened to us.



Orphanage Sonechko in Zaporizhya

We started to visit our boy from three to six every day. When the weather was nice, we had a walk in the garden. We started show you flowers, cat, trees. You were touching leaves on the trees and were listening to the wind. We were the happiest in the world. You put the happiness in our life.

Court Day

The court went very well. The judge asked us questions about our city, our life, jobs and how we would take care about our child. After the court session we were named as father and mother of Nicholas. The court was over and daily routine started again. In 10 days we got the court decree, made Nichola’s birth certificate and new passport. And when all was ready and done, we picked up our boy!

Picking up Nicholas and judgment

We picked up our Nicholas. And we officially became his mom and dad. It was the best feeling.

And even now it is the best feeling to see him in the house, to see him sleeping in bed, to hug him and give him food, to see him happy and exciting. We are very happy.

Our facilitator helped us a lot.

Happy days!

The days in Zaporizhy with our Nicholas at the apartment were the happiest and exhausting at the same time))) because he was waking up at 5 in the morning (every day), like the alarm clock. But we were so excited to see him sleepy in the morning and give him hugs and look at him. He was so cute.

Trip to Kiev

We returned to Kiev 2 days before our trip back home. We got medical record for our son and got visa. Everybody was very nice at the embassy.

Flight

Our flight back home was nice. We came to Ukraine being 2 and came back home being 3. Now we pray God for all of us to be healthy. We are very happy family!



First days at home!

Home sweet home. The first time was not easy. Everything was new for a little baby and he had a lot to learn.

The learning abilities of children are incredible, they learn so fast.

Nicholas loves us most of all and we love him most of all.

Many people were coming to our house to look at him and it was hard for Nicholas to get used for that. Now he knows who is relative and who is just our friend. Everybody loves our son.

For all the families I have a good advice. Do not be worried about the language. Kids learn so fast. Language is not a problem at all.

When we met him he was not walking, because he didn’t go out and spent the day in a big playroom. He did not pick up objects with the hands. Now I smile all the time when I remember our first days and our walks. How we were touching trees together, how we were looking at the flowers, cats, dogs, everything was new for him. Only 3 months later he walks by himself, goes from room to room, runs, plays with puzzles and toys. He opens doors and everything what all kids do in his age.

It is obviously that Nicholas is a happy child and we even think we spoil him a little LOL. But it is so hard not to spoil him. He is our best gift. Nicholas loves to give us hugs and kisses.

Nicholas post-adoption

Introduction

More or less three months ago that Nicholas has come to our House and it seems a lifetime. it seems a lot of time and a world. Magically, we have incorporated a new way of life and now we are a group of three, for everything and hopefully will remain so until that a beautiful and smart chick steals him from our life in his twenties. Meanwhile we enjoy and work this wonderful adventure of being parents and as I repeat many times until the surfeit, I knew that parenting was nice, that’s why we fought so much, but living it exceeds all expectations.

It is difficult to explain to those who do not want it, the good thing about parenting. I speak of the early waking up at six in the morning, of the amount of clothing in the ironing board, lack of free time, the ability to capture attention and energy proper of a child and finally I understand that, as my brother says -don’t worry!, if I seek sensations I have a beer - but only a sensation can summarize it. A laugh, a glance, feeling how it all strengthens, grows, how he sings, knowing that our house is going to be his home, all that is priceless and although I sleep late since almost the day that they gave him to us, and sometimes I would go three days to the Caribbean, I already can’t spend a night quiet without knowing that he is happy and well. These are the secrets of love and a adoption is a wonderful love story.

Arrival to Spain

The day of the flight we left Kiev at six in the morning and arrived at Santiago, where we were going to be picked up at 10 in the evening. Nicholas arrived happy and went into the arms of everyone and kissed all and our families were delighted with how sociable the little one was.

The following days were chaos, visits here and there. The welcoming was so good, that it was even a little overwhelming. The contrast with this rich and consumerist world is like a shock after two months and a week our little one has more things and clothes than all the friends of his department. We remember much of the children there.

I have to say that the child has completely different hours to ours and that his time to get up was 4 Spanish time and until that changed we were all exhausted. The way of doing this was to be very strict with the hours and go slowly gaining time, i.e., started lying at 8 in the evening for 15 days to 15 days we won half an hour and so until when we realized we had a schedule of European child and I slept the siesta as do the neighbors.

The learning capacity of children is incredible. The head of Nicholas is continually incorporating new data. The work consisted of:

Removing the small anxiety of food that he brought. During one month more or less he walked always with a cookie in his hand and little by little this obsession with food was going away , until the point where we currently have to chase him to end the snack and he knows that he can choose and there are flavors and there is always food at the right time.

That he trusts us, we knew him with character and increasingly he feels safer and quieter. He had a small problem because he had a small fever and we were isolated for 3 days due to the obsession with the bird flu, until we got the results. But he is very cheerful child who sings with his average tongue, who dances and communicates in his own way his desires, he is very funny when explaining that he is hungry or wants to sleep with signs and he gets angry if it is not granted.

The adaptation was very good from the beginning, but during the first month and especially because so many new people were watching him, he did not want to go away from us. Now he already can tell the difference of who is family, who is a friend and who is newly known and the kisses are no longer offered. Each time he has more clear that we are going to take care of him and that we love him to much.

Medical check-ups. Fortunately except a few unimportant things everything was well, but the truth is that until they gave us the first results of the analysis, we were not quiet. We have done reviews of everything and we went to 4 specialists luckily nothing of importance and Nicholas is a healthy little boy, although it has been tiresome to visit so many doctors.

The language. This is our uphill, Nicholas is magically moving throughout it. Far are already after three months his problems of psychomotor skills. When we met him he was not walking, because he didn’t go out and spent the day in a big playpen, he did not pick objects with the hands, the pieces of a childish game fell and I get excited every time I remember that he had not seen a tree, or a dog. Our child 3 months later goes up and down from the sofa, runs, makes puzzles fitting large chips, plays with toys with buttons, opens drawers, doors, you may even find him one day on the table. He explores and plays with everything put you in front of him, has learned to blow, to give kisses, ultimately thousands of things but the language goes slowly. He says 5 words, actually he said many more spontaneously and by repetition, but to read regularly only about 5 or 6. No we are concerned too because the phonemes are different from Ukrainian and he is not even 2 years old.

Affectionately Nicholas is a happy child and I even believe that we are trying too much and I know this is making him capricious, he has given us the best things you can have in life, which is the happiness of his hug or his laughter when you kiss his belly and his kisses. I only ask God health for him and that we see him aging.